Whatever Can Go Wrong, Will (Silly Fic)
by Taisa
Summary: Sequel to Mending Broken Hearts, Taisa and Raoul attempt to get married. Takes place right after Wild Magic. PLEASE no more flames!!!!!!! This is silly fic, so no one is in character, that is what makes it funny! I also am currently without spellcheck, so
1. EndTables and Firewood

Disclaimer: This all belongs to Tamora Pierce, except Taisa of Tortall. Thank you :)  
  
*A month before the wedding* Raoul shook his head. He wasn't ready to get married, but when was a man EVER ready? He stood on the balconey of his room in House Goldenlake in the capitl of Corus. The sunwas just about to rise.BRBR  
  
Taisa stirred and awoke, putting on a robe to join her betrothed. "What is bothing you?" she asked, laying a hand on his arm.BRBR  
  
"For some reason, I feel something will go wrong, but I don't know what," he replied as he kissed her forehead.BRBR  
  
"Cythera and Gary were married a month ago. Nothing went wrong then," she said reasonably.BRBR  
  
"But after all that has happened; the Carthak raiders, StormWings, and that student of Numair's, how will we be sure all will remain sane?BRBR  
=======================================================================BRBR  
*A week before the wedding* Tai thought as she was fitted for her dress. A lovely thing, made of white silk with silver embroidery. She looked at the engagement ring she had gotten-a large diamond on a silver band. She sighed.BRBR  
  
"Daydreaming again, sister?" Cythera of Naxen teased her sister-in-law. The two had become good friends. She heard giggling from the others in the room' Queen Thayet, Lady Alanna, her mother and young Daine. The little dragon, Skysong came over to her, and grabbed her hand.BRBR  
  
"Like my ring?" she asked the scaled creature softly. Kitten looked at her with an intrigued glance and chirped. The diamond began to glow. "Did you know she could do that?" Tai asked Daine.BRBR  
  
"No, mum. But dragons have their own magic, Numair told me. The young are born learnin' spells." The curly-haired girl looked so forlorn, Tai's heart almsot broke.BRBR  
  
"I barely know you, Daine, but I would love for you to be a bridesmaid at my wedding." Kitten turned grey and began to stalk off. "And skysong can be a flower-girl, as long as she promises to behave." The little dragon lost her washed-out color and looked happy again.BRBR  
=======================================================================BRBR  
Raoul was with Numair, attempting to get his wedding shoes more comfortable without destroying them. "The Gift is good for something," Raoul joked. Numair smiled.BRBR  
  
"It is amazing how a year ago I knew no practical magic whatsoever. I ahve King Jonathan to thank for that," Numair replied. Raoul stood up and suddenly was kissed by a woman. he went to kiss back and realized it wasn't Tai.BRBR  
  
"Faye, Faye of Jesslaw? What are YOU doing here?" Raoul had been betrothed to this woman, since she had no brothers he had refuced, not wanting to leave Goldenlake, for he was an only child as well.BRBR  
  
"I am here to win you back, my love." Faye reokied, attempting to kiss him again. He pushed her back.BRBR  
"I am getting married soon. I don't love you and I never did." Raoul's head spun.BRBR  
  
Numair came up. "Nobles don't always get a choice, girl. Respect his or I'll teach you a lesson."BRBR  
  
"What will you do? You think you are a mage or something?"BRBR  
  
"No, I know I am," and turned her into an end table. "Better wrap this for your wedding gift." He whistled as he walked off, Faye in hand.BRBR  
  
"Better yet, I think I'll burn it," he called after him.BRBR  
=======================================================================BRBR  
The day wasn't going any better for Taisa. After they girls had gone to an eating establishment, they forgot to make sure Kit was with them.BRBR  
  
"Skysong, where are you?" Daine called after their food arrived and the little dragon was nowhere to be found. Running back to the seamstress, Tai was reduced to tears as the dragon turned a pale pink.BRBR  
  
"What did you do to the dress?" Thayet's eyes were wide. The silver garment was now glowing, and slowly turning into a piece of firewood. "Bad Kit!" Daine scolded. "I am so sorry, Lady Taisa."BRBR  
"Excuse me for a second," Tai said, as she screamed into the wall of magic she had made.BRBR  



	2. Bachelor(ette) Parties Gone Wrong

*Tomorrow* Raoul thought as the many crisis had been averted. Numair had turned Faye back into a human, and she had immediately fallen in love with Geoffrey of Meron. he was thrilled and a wedding had been planned for the two immediately. Numair had also saved Taisa's dress and scolded the grey Skysong.  
  
The two napped, for they knew tonight would be very long indeed.  
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Onua, Alanna, Thayet, Buri, Cythera, and a bunch more noble ladies that were friends with Taisa were waiting. "We are going to have fun tonight. We managed to hire four of the King's Own to strip,' Thayet said, grinning. Taisa blushed.  
  
"How drunk are they?"  
  
"As drunk as I could get them. Hopefully they won't remember in the morning," Alanna replied, eyes twinkling. The show started.  
  
"Wow, who knew THAT about Bazhir men?"  
  
"Come here, hot stuff," Onua and Buri said, motioning to two of the men. Thayet saw Daine trying to sneak down the stairs.   
  
"Back to bed," she commanded.  
  
"Aw, mum, that's not fair," she grumbled, going back to bed.  
  
Thayet was taking one of th men into the next room, Alanna called after her. "Hey, where are you going.  
  
"The man is having trouble with his belt," the queen replied.  
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The men's bachelor party was less exciting. Jonathan, Gary, George, the Lord Provost, Sir Miles, Geoffrey, Douglass, Sacherell, Numair, and most of the King's Own(except four) were are the Dancing Dove.  
  
"Hey, we be brothers now," the overly drunk Gary told Raoul. Raoul smiled back.  
  
"Yup, brothers."  
  
Raoul fainted. Everyone glared. "I thought I was spiking his drink," Jon said. Gary shook his head no-as did several others.  
  
"Ok, HOW amny peole soiked his drink?" About a dozen hands raised. "And it was alcohal right?" Numair put his hand down. "Numair.?"  
  
"I accidently grabbed the NightBloom instead of the alchohal," he said sheepishly. The rest of the men sighe and loked around nervously.  
  
"We have to wake him before the wedding!"  
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Taisa awoke giddy. But when the other women entered the room she knew something was wrong.  
  
"The men are missing," Thayet said quietly.  
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They threw water, sang spells, use smelling herbs but nothing would awake him. Numair flipped through book after book. "There is only one way to awaken him," he announced. "A kiss from his beloved.  
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The women got ready for the wedding, as the nobles arrived. An hour after the wedding was supposed to begin, Buri;s trick riding, Cythera's singing and Thayet's soliliques were getting on everyone's nerves.  
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"Who has to kiss him?" Gary asked. "We can't let anyone else know about this."  
  
"His best friend," Numair said gravely. "Jonathan."  
  
"Oh, no!" Jonathan said. Gary's eyes were pleading. He sighed and gave Raoul a kiss.  
  
The large man awoke, sputtering. "That was disgusting! What are you thinking?"  
  
"I only did it to wake you up!"  
  
"But why did it include your tongue?"  
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Numair used a spell that transported them back to the palace, in their finest clothes. The wedding began.   
  
"Where were you?" Taisa asked.  
  
"I'll tell you-someday. It is a story filled with horror and disgust."  
  
~~The End~~  
~~Next Chapter~~  
  
~~Next Chapter~~ 


	3. The Honeymoon

Yeah right, you sickos! 


End file.
